My Felicity Corner revisited!

With rather obvious reason, I am reactivating this blog.

A different journey awaits! Hopefully this isn't too late!

Farewell.

The time has come and I finally have to bid farewell to this corner. This corner has served me well during the past year, yet my demands have outgrown the features that blogspot could provide. Consequently a move is necessary.

As I settle on my new nest on fhnuc.wordpress.com, I will not forget this old nest. All the posts made here will remain as I will be here often to use these posts as references.

I thank you for visiting my felicity corner. See you around in my new nest!

Moving in progress.

I am in the process of abandoning this old nest. Will appreciate if you can drop me a short e-mail so that I can give you my new nest's URL. Click on 'Write to me!' Banner on your right hand column to find out the way to contact me. I should have done this a while ago.

Thanks, ppl. See ya in my new nest.

Dilemma.

I am into a lil' bit of a dilemma. I have tried as long as I could on not giving this idea a shot at all, but I realized if I don't do that I am bound by very limited extent. Well, it's about this blog, actually. I think blogspot is fine. It's good actually. It has served me well during the past months. However I have always wanted to jot down more of my personal life, yet this idea is sort of forbidden by Tomato because he doesn't feel secure at all at the idea of disclosing our personal lives in this cyberspace. Consequently I need a blog that has password protected features so that I could still jot down what I want, yet I have a full control about my target audience.

So, I believe I would abandon this ship soon, however I don't have time to explore other possibilities due to hectic schedule. Aigh ... what shall I do? Any suggestions?

Winged Bean. （四翼豆，四棱豆）

A few weeks ago I saw winged beans on the fresh produce aisle at my local Asian grocery store. It was indeed a pleasant surprise because winged bean is not a regular vegetable carried by the store. Without a doubt I bought 2 packages (each pack only have around 8 beans). I have never had this dish elsewhere but Malaysia.

I enjoy using this sauce to stir fry my veges. As you can tell from the label the sauce is made for Laksa cooking. Perhaps that's the taste for Johor style laksa because the paste is not sourish at all. Instead, the taste is very close to the mixture of sambal + dried shrimp + chili paste, i.e. the combination we use to stir fry long beans and kangkung. Consequently I would always stock up this paste because it's so flavourful, and deliver good result when I use it to stir fry my veges.

The end product. Voila!

During the next visit to the grocery store the winged bean is no longer available. So long, winged bean ... I had great fun when we met! I look forward to having next encounter with you! ^_^

Flickering Flame.

I really enjoy having flickering flame as part of the home decor. For some unknown reasons I find them to be tranquilizing. To have all the tealight candles lit and place them on my votive candle holders is my personal daily must-have. Needless to say, the candle light adds on some special touch to the festive season.

救谁？

“如果我和你妈掉进水里，你会先救谁？”

我相信这是一个很老掉牙的问题。基本上我相信很多人都知道经典的满分答案（即双喜妈妈）post的那一个。但是，在我和他之间，我们的version恐怕会比较不一样。怎么说？

请看……

“如果我和你妈掉进水里，你会先救谁？”我说。

“噢，忘了你不会游泳。所以哦，你就继续呆在岸上好了。让会游泳的我去救你的妈吧。”我又说。

他坐在一露出一点无奈，一点炸到，一点不可思议的样子。

所以哦，所有父母们，记得给你们的孩子们学会游泳哦。

The sound of Christmas ...

I wrote about this last year, and am very happy to share this cool website with everyone again this time around. Starting from Thanksgiving Day in US this station Lite 98 will be playing only Christmas songs ... everyday, every night ... until Christmas! I enjoy tuning into this station to get the warm and fuzzy feeling ... also not to mention the fact that I don't have to buy any Christmas albums because all I need is a radio, or internet broadband.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year ... "

Let the joy, fun, and happiness begin ...

Good read.

Something I saw from shiaulin's blog. It's not something pleasant to read, nor be aware of, sadly it's also very true. A toast to 'Malaysia boleh'!


Sigh ...

p/s: the author has another updated article on here.

It's that time of the year again ...

Having the 'November' page shown on my calendar will bring a big smile on my face. Oh, how wonderful that is, I thought to myself. After ten months of waiting finally the joyful season is here, again. Yes, the festive season might have been highly commercialized, but who cares? This is also the season to give thanks, to share the love, to gather and reunite ...

My Christmas tree. Oh, if you have to be politically correct then this is a 'holiday tree'. Aigh, stop pulling my legs ... Why must we subvert the beautiful tradition?

Christmas lights ... viewing from outside of my apartment.

I find the lights soothing ...

Hopefully my electricity bill won't be too expensive, haha ...

Slap forehead!!

Sis: Hey brother, how are you these days?

Bro: Good, good, can kill tiger.

Sis: Good to hear that. So have you been eating healthily as an effort to recover better from the disease?

Bro: Oh, my appetite has been really well. I eat a lot these days after I am discharged from the hospital. I basically have been eating everything. I had my lunch at McD today.

Sis: (-_-''') What! You had greasy food today? I thought I made it clear that you shall try to avoid unhealthy food for a while?

Bro: Why? I am not having fever anymore. My platelet count has returned to normal level ...

Sis: Yes, your fever has subsided, and your platelet count is now back at the normal range, but didn't you know that your liver enzymes level has elevated to an abnormal level?

Bro: Oh, really? I thought the higher the level the better, like my platelet count!

Sis: (Slap forehead!) NONONONO!!!! Your AST count is 306 (normal reference range given by the lab: 16-40), ALT count 312 (normal reference range 8-54) etc ... Even when I was under my anti-TB therapy, given the high liver toxicity my liver enzymes never give so high reading! Your liver obviously is inflamed as a complication of Dengue....

Bro: Oh, is that serious?

Sis: Well, that just means that we have to work hard on eliminating extra burden for your liver right now, and make sure you have enough rest and enough liquids and great amount of nutritious food to replenish your body ...

Bro: Oh shoot ... I had mamak food yesterday ...

Sis: You what!!!!!!!!

Bro: And I have been returning to the field and play football a few days ago.

Sis: (SLAP FOREHEAD AGAIN!!) Hey brother don't you know that due to the inflammation your liver is slightly enlarged now? You only discharged from hospital last Friday can't you wait at least a few more days (or better still, weeks) before you become THAT active?

Bro: I have to get fit again ...

Sis: Yes you can do that but your body needs to recover you know? You cannot take your body for granted ... For everyone's sake you just recovered from DENGUE!! And your platelet count was that low and you had 4 pint of platelet transfusion blah blah blah blah blah ...

Bro: Okay okay ... honestly I didn't know this is so severe ...

Sis: (slap forehead uncountable times ... ) {speechless}

Bro: To be honest with you I plan to have some alcohol on Friday night with my buddies ... I am sure that is forbidden too ...

Sis: WHAT? ALCOHOL? Are you trying to kill yourself? (I can practically slap my forehead until I pass out ...)

Bro: Okay .. okay ... I know now .. I know ...


Ppl, don't take life for granted ... please ...

I can vomit blood ... !!

What quality ?

I don't understand what quality does the production team see in the new 'James Bond'. To me, he doesn't have the height, he doesn't have the look, he doesn't have the style, he doesn't have the charm ... so, why?

科学路上……

从好朋友的小站里读了一些她近期发生的研究路上心路旅程，加上家里发生的小状况，有一点点的感触……

弟弟最近患上登革热（前称骨痛热蚊症），全家人的心理上上下下的，忐忑不安。很难熬的时刻终于过去，弟弟现在在康复当中。

其实在马来西亚登革热的并发率是那么的高，也发生了那么多年，(we are talking about decades, even centuries)，坦白说，如果这样的情况在发达国家，很有效的疫苗早就研究出来了。现阶段，抗登革病毒蚊症疫苗的研究还在属于慢慢研究的过程当中。 为什么慢？因为这种疾病没有给美国英国加拿大澳洲等等先进国造成太大的威胁，自然而然就没有那么多科学家对此病症有兴趣。没有人研究，没有人愿意拨款，没 有竞争，自然脚步就慢了。肺结核(Tuberculosis)的命运也几乎是如此，现有的治疗方式还是停留在十几二十年前的方式，没有更新更有效的方 式……

曾经我发愿要成为科学家，专修微生物。没有其他理由，因为病菌造成的疾病很多时候是防不了的。其他的疾病如癌症，某个程度来说我们可以预防，但是传染性的疾病，无论我们再多么努力，我们只可能控制那扩散的速度，要完全将它们eradicate，是，很大程度，难如登天的。

结果我到了加拿大，为了我的理想前进。但是很不幸的我自己患上了非典型的肺结核。其实这一场疾病让我可以冷静地思考，规划出我人生真正想要的方向。患病以 前的梦想是要在微生物学这一方面一直往前进，从学士到硕士到博士一直得走下去。学士毕业的时候观赏了博士的毕业典礼，那么的让人澎湃，那么的让人向往，但 是我知道这样的一个梦想很有难度因为番茄先生不可能一直都留在加拿大。毕业以后美国会给他更多且更好的机会，但是年轻总得挨一挨的，我想，所以远距离几年 算得了什么……这是患病前的想法。病了以后，也更认真的发现，研究的路上其实不适合我。研究界钻牛角尖的思维方式不是我恭维的；研究界的批判性不是我可以 有的本领；研究界的lifetime commitment是我承诺不了的（很多教授级的科学家都是不婚，或没孩子的。家庭与研究很多时候无法共存）；研究界快而准的压力，不是我想背负的…… 再说，之前那么热爱细菌学的我，却也很讽刺性的宰在此病菌的‘手’里。有没有被discourage？坦白说，我很难说没有……（之前番茄问我修完内科完 毕以后他可不可以考虑专修infectious disease，我很想支持他，但是我还是很难免的给了他一个很哀怨的眼神，企图说，可不可以不呢？哦，题外话……）再说，若说远距离适合我，才怪！我和 番茄先生从1998年开始在一起，一支携手努力要在一起，这一次为什么要挑战那么未知的远距离呢？

做了一轮又一轮的思考，我放弃了之前的坚持。生病以后我问自己，如果生命的quantity需要递减，我希望要有什么quality呢？

离开加拿大，离开了之前的规划，近两年了。像现在，其实没有什么不好。离开研究实验室，我重投临床试验室的怀抱。还是临床试验的化验工作比较适合我。起码 我有规定的工作时间（研究工作很多时候是不定，且说不上的）；我被医院雇用，不是只活在一件专属研究实验室，这样的情况下working benefit比较好；还有等等其他的工作条件也是我个人比较喜欢的。

再说，看了朋友的最新感触，我更觉得，啊，那一种生活模式，不会适合我的……批评与自我批评，开玩笑，那一点也不是我的风格。我一直笃信大地发生的一切有 自己的规律，怎么个批判呢？再说，研究路上是孤寂的，你在为那‘可能’而努力。‘可能’可能是重大的，但那‘可能’也可以是一种‘零’。我承受不了那一种 未知，抵受不了那一种可能‘归零’的可能性。

我知道，我做了适合我自己的选择……

我相信每一个人都有比较适合的职业。我从初中开始就爱上了实验室，显微镜。求学路上考虑过其它的可能性，但是兜来转去还是回到了我自己的原点。目前来说是自己喜欢的职业，但是细节上来说还不是ideal的环境，希望再走下去会有更好的选择。

同行的有些已经厌倦了实验室，或只是纯粹向探讨其他的可能性。在美国加拿大很多人都有学海无涯的想法，所以其实不介意三、四十岁依然回到校园的想法。有的 想考进医学院，有的想上药剂系……那一天被问我有没有这样的想法，我想说，医学院啊，我五年前考进了一次，纯属试一试，但是bottomline我知道那 不会适合我，所以，也没有怎样。药剂？我不喜欢生理学，也不喜欢pharmacology，尽管妈妈以前一直nag我进入这行，我也无动于衷。现在？我当 然也不会考虑。

现在的我，还不错。somewhere along the road i might wanna return to school，不过应该是半工读形式的完成一个Health Administration的硕士吧。我想如果我不干这一行我要干一些周末不用上班（我们得轮周末班，医院的临床实验事是２４／７的）。 Administrative level的工作应该不错吧，我想。哎，也只是一种planning而已，再说吧。

我想，我想说的是，年少的梦想，实践，求学阶段的理想，与离校以后的努力，都一直会改变吧。

没有为什么，因为没有什么是永恒的。谁让变才是永恒呢？

一点点点滴记录……

Fall 2006

Honestly I am very addicted to the wonderful fall (autumn) colours. Who wouldn't?

Maple trees are just amazing ... on a same tree you might get 4 different colours out of it. The change of colours from green to yellow to orange to red is just phenomenal ...

When I was in junior high school I dreamed about living in places with plentiful maple trees. Am grateful that that wish was granted.

When you see a tree like this, you just can't help but to look up and admire the beauty of wonderful nature ...

There is a reason why people here preferred the term 'Fall' over 'Autumn'. Look at the amount of leaves that 'fell' from the tree ...

Sooner or later all trees will be like this, leafless.

The wonderful fall foliage ...

finally ...

Finally my brother is discharged from the hospital after spending a few nights in the hospital.

At the beginning of the week I really thought of flying home. I know it is very non-pragmatic, but with the close bond I have with my brother and my family, I really wish that I could be there to support them. I know there isn't much I could do personally to help him to be better because dengue is a matter of supportive therapy, and in his case, a few platelet transfusions too, but I know I could be there to help my family to understand the disease and the progression better. At the very least I can interpret the lab test results without having them to panic over some wrong matters. Moreover, should I have further questions I know where to seek help.

Anyhow, after uncountable doses of acetaminophen (paracetamol) and a few pints of platelet, his fever finally had subsided and his platelet count had returned to normal level. This indeed is a very big relief to all of us... However his liver shows signs of inflammation (as indicated by the liver function blood tests), so he will have to adhere to a liver detox regimen, and intake of only nutritious food to avoid giving extra burden to his liver.

A speedy recovery for you, ya, brother.

I really miss my family...